When choice is recognised; when you choose to accept you are responsible for yourself and you take that responsibility – then real and deep healing begins…
There is support here and we all need support – just ask and it is given.
We all witness abuse – it’s all around us, but we don’t have to accept or embrace it.
Hurt people hurt people.
Break the chain today.
Meet anger with sympathy,
contempt with compassion,
cruelty with kindness.
Greet grimaces with smiles.
Forgive and forget about finding fault.
Love is the weapon of the future.” – Yehuda Berg
How To Recover From Abuse?
Learn to… ❤LOVE YOURSELF❤
Six Steps To recovery
- Become aware of your current habits and patterns.
- Uncover their source and roots.
- Identify the resources you want and need.
- Transform the damaging programs and learn new and empowering beliefs, habits and behaviours.
- Learn to love all of life, all of your experiences for what they have taught you about yourself.
- Discover how to unconditionally love and accept of yourself.
Contact me by
Sending an email to firstname.lastname@example.org
If you’re in the UK call on: 0207 336 8960.
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HOW DO YOU STOP THE HURTING?
Unconditional self-acceptance and self-love is the only lasting foundation to true self-esteem.
If we get our self-esteem from superficial places, from our popularity, appearance, business success, financial situation, health, any of these, we will be disappointed, because no one can guarantee that we’ll have them tomorrow.
Arrogance and narcissism are immature forms of self-love, they don’t allow for the needs and feelings of others to be taken into account. These are the traits of those who pretend to have high self-esteem while actually harbouring serious self-doubt and a sense of insecurity or worthlessness, are simply attempting to defend their egos from insult and further injury.
The concept of “unconditional self-acceptance” is healing and empowering. Seeking self-esteem can be a life-long pursuit and likely to be ruined if you encounter changes in your circumstances that tend to lower your self-esteem. BUT unconditional self-acceptance, once it’s been found and achieved, is stable, contagious and lasts a life-time.
“Self-esteem is made up primarily of two things: feeling lovable and feeling capable.” – Jack Canfield
Why work with me?
I was raised in a house were alcoholism and violence were normal.
Not always physical violence but shouting, blaming, bullying do seem to have been constant occurrences.
As a child I was powerless, and I did have to accept it – and I even embraced it as I too have lashed out, been aggressive, domineering and even a bully to those who hurt me, pissed me off, wound me up or pushed my buttons…
“Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge.” Fritz Perls
When I think about all the times I have lashed out at people, I realise I was suffering. I even remember how clever and justified I felt hurting others, especially when they’d hurt me first, or failed to really help.
These are not things I am proud to admit; and they’re not things I’d recommend or condone. My belief now is that we all have a responsibility to learn healthy ways to cope and we are responsible for our actions.
If you are triggered by someone or something it is not their fault – it is your trigger that has been engaged, your button that was pressed. If you don’t work to understand your triggers, your buttons then they will not and can not be transformed, you are the only one who can transform your triggers.
I suspect if we’re really honest with ourselves, most of us can identify moments when we acted thoughtlessly from a place of hurt, sorrow or anger.
Most of us have felt pain burning like a hot coal in our hands, and felt desperate to unload it, somehow, somewhere.
I don’t appreciate being abused in and way, and I know I don’t deserve it. Just like none of us deserve misdirected rage from a family member, a friend, a partner, a coworker, or stranger.
We have a right to set boundaries and communicate when something is not okay. The world is a better place when we choose to do that from a place of love and compassion, instead of righteousness and judgment.
Those who criticise and hurt others, simply reveal what they lack in themselves. To stay silent about abuse is like a slow growing cancer in the soul, it’s the trait of a true coward. It’s not big and it’s not clever to not stand up for yourself. You might not win every battle by standing up BUT everyone will know what you stood for — YOU.
We all act thoughtlessly at times. Most often we don’t mean to hurt each other. We just don’t recognise or remember how to stop hurting ourselves, by working on our own self-love, self-acceptance and self-respect we can stop the hurting.